Love Lives On
by gleefulmia
Summary: It was something she had started doing a lot lately, imagining Finn was there with her. In some ways she really thought he was.


Hey guys! I decided to take a little break from Who's That Girl to do a songfic. I've had this song on my itunes for a while but I just listened to it for the first time in a long time and decided I wanted to write a fic. It's kind of perfect for Finn/Rachel in a way, but just warning you it is very sad. There is a character death in the story (as much as it kills me because he's my fave), so if you can't handle character deaths, you probably should read it. Thanks :)

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, except for Faith Hudson. The song is Love Lives On by Mallary Hope, and it's a seriously amazing song.

Love Lives On

_i reached for you this morning  
>woke up with empty arms<br>once again it's sinking in  
>how far away you are<em> 

27 year old Rachel Berry stretched in her sleep and stretched out across her queen size bed hoping beyond all hope that what she was looking for was there, or rather who. She sighed sadly as she slowly opened her eyes to see the sunlight streaming in through the white curtains on the windows. She looked at the empty spot next to her and let a few tears run down her cheeks. She realized she hadn't been dreaming after all, he was really gone.

Her husband, the love of her life, the father of her daughter, her Finn was gone. He had been shipped off to fight in the war in Afghanistan 6 months ago. One month ago she had gotten a visit from one of his commanders saying that Finn and two others had been killed by a roadside bomb while on their way back to their camp. The following weeks had consisted of her crying her eyes out, planning a funeral, and trying to explain to her 3 year old daughter why her Daddy was never coming home. The stress had left Rachel in a state of exhaustion to the point where her mother-in-law had taken Faith, her daughter, for the weekend to give Rachel a break.

The problem was that the silence was almost too much to take. At least with Faith around she was distracted so that she wasn't constantly thinking about Finn, but now all her thoughts consisted of him and it nearly killed her to remember their parting words.

_"I really have to go baby." Finn said with his arms wrapped around Rachel tightly. She refused to let go._

_"I don't want you to leave." Rachel said stubbornly. "I know that you said things will be fine, just like last time, but what if they're not? What if something happens? Finn, I've just got this really horrible feeling, and now it's not just us, we have to think about Faith."_

_Finn sighed. "Babe, I know you're scared and I am too, but I need to do this. I need to go defend my country and then once I come home, that will be it, we will be free to live the rest of our lives together, raising our little girl. For now, you've gotta stay here and look after Faith. Make sure she knows how much I love her."_

_"I will, and you just make sure to come back to me." Rachel said. "Keep yourself safe."_

_Finn nodded. "I will try. I can't make any promises Rach, you know that."_

_"I know, I just...love you so much." Rachel said._

_"I love you to, more then you could possibly imagine." Finn said as he kissed her all over her face before kissing her lips one last time, not knowing it would be the last time he would ever get to do that._

_Rachel couldn't resist mimicking something she had heard on tv the other day. "You all come back now you hear." She said through tear-filled eyes as Finn turned to look her way one last time, nodding slightly with a sad smile and a tear falling from his eye, as he walked towards the terminal._

_i still pour two cups of coffee  
>and tell you all about my dreams<br>this kitchen's way to quiet  
>you should still be here with me<em>

Rachel sighed in frustration as she looked at the second cup of coffee she had just poured into Finn's favorite mug that said #1 Daddy in big black letters, with a heart around it. It was a present from Faith to Finn on the last Father's Day they celebrated together.

"So I'm thinking of starting Faith in voice lessons." Rachel said to no one in particular, just the air. It was something she had started doing a lot lately, imagining Finn was there with her. In some ways she really thought he was. "After all she is our daughter, talent is in her blood. Better to start her early, I know it's something you would agree with Finn."

She half expected him to answer back, but as she looked around her large kitchen with the marble counter tops and large island, she couldn't help but feel saddened by the quietness of the room. When he was here the house was always filled with laughter and music, it was never this quiet. Rachel decided to turn on the radio to drown out the silence.

___and even though i cry like crazy  
>even though it hurts so bad<br>i'm thankful for the time god gave me  
>even though we couldn't make it last<br>i'm learning how to live without you  
>even though i don't want to<br>and even with you gone love lives on_

_i still call your mom on sunday  
>it's good to hear her voice<br>she always tells me that same story  
>about her stubborn little boy<br>_

"Rachel honey, we're back." Carole called to her daughter-in-law as she walked into the house with her granddaughter asleep in her arms.

"In here Carole." Rachel answered as Carole followed her voice to the living room where the tv was on. She smiled sadly as she saw that Rachel was watching old home movies from when she and Finn had first moved to New York.

Rachel let out a small smile as Carole placed her sleeping daughter on the couch next to her. Rachel pulled Faith into her lap, laying the girl across her chest and cradling her like she did when she was a baby. This little girl was all she had left of her husband and she cherished her.

Carole laughed as she saw Finn making a face at the camera. "He was such a goofball."

Rachel grinned and nodded. "He would do anything for a laugh, he didn't care how stupid he looked."

"You know, I still remember when he was a little boy and he would insist on jumping off the back of the couch." Carole began and Rachel leaned her head back against the couch as she listened to the older woman tell her story. Carole told this story over and over again, but Rachel would never tire of it because she knew how much this story meant to the woman. Plus any reminder of her husband was always a good thing.

"I would always warn him not to, that one day he was going to break his leg and finally one day, bam. He landed on it the wrong way and broke it in 2 places. You would think that would have stopped him, but that kid was obstinate. He never quit." Carole laughed.

"I hope Faith is just like him." Rachel whispered not wanting to wake the little girl. "I hope she has his heart, his child like innocence and his calm demeanor."

"I don't know, Finn always said he hoped she was like you. He wanted her to have your compassion, drive and enthusiasm for life. Honestly, I think she inherited all the best parts of you both, she's an amazing little girl." Carole said playing with her granddaughter's dark hair.

_and i kept your favorite tshirt  
>you know the one i used to hate<br>ain't it funny how it's the one thing now  
>i just can't throw away<em>

That night after Rachel had tucked Faith in for the night, she pulled out one of Finn's old shirts and held it up to her face, still find a trace of his scent on it. It's funny, she used to always tell Finn to throw this shirt away, it was stretched out beyond repair and faded, yet it was Finn's favorite shirt. It was the McKinley High fitness shirts and Finn always said it reminded his of their high school years, and that was why he couldn't bear to part with it. The shirt now provided Rachel with a sense of comfort, and despite donating most of her husband's clothes to Good Will, she knew this shirt was something she would never be able to part with. Well this shirt and Finn's old blanket. She was saving that to give to Faith one day, who she hope would give it to her children in memory of the grandfather they never go to know.

_and even though i cry like crazy  
>even though it hurts so bad<br>i'm thankful for the time god gave me  
>even though we couldn't make it last<br>i'm learning how to live without you  
>even though i don't want to<br>and even with you gone love lives on_

_she comes with me on your birthday  
>little flowers in her hands<br>she's always known there's something missing  
>but to young to understand<br>_

"Ready Faithy?" Rachel asked her daughter, who was holding her hand as they walked towards the cemetary. Faith held a small flower arrangement in her other hand and looked up at her mother.

"Are we going to see Daddy?" The little girl asked innocently. "Where is he?"

Rachel bit her lip, not knowing how to respond. She had tried numerous times to explain to her young daughter what it meant to die, but the little girl was just to young to really grasp it.

"We are going to see him sweetie, in a manner of speaking." Rachel said.

"Huh?" The little girl looked at her mother confused.

Rachel bent down to her level. "Remember how I explained that Daddy had to go away for awhile and we might never see him again for a long long time?"

Faith nodded.

"Well you see, your Daddy went to a place called Heaven to be with the Angels, and his Daddy, your Grandpa Christopher." Rachel explained, letting her daughter digest everything. "We're not really going to see him today, but we will see his grave and you know what, you can talk to him like he's actually there, because in a way, he is in your heart." Rachel pointed her finger over Faith's heart.

The little girl nodded slowly, seeming to accept what her mother had just said. "So even though I can't see him, doesn't mean he's not there?"

Rachel nodded, glad to have such a perseptive daughter. "That's right. Now why don't you go over and say happy birthday." Rachel instructed as she pointed to the grave a few feet away, taking a seat on the bench.

_and someday she's going to ask me  
>what kind of man you were<br>i'll tell her all the ways i loved you  
>and all of you i see in her<em>

_and even though i cry like crazy  
>even though it hurts so bad<br>i'm thankful for the love god gave me  
>and she's the perfect way to make it last<br>learning how to live without you  
>baby i don't want you to<br>but even with you gone  
>love lives on yeah<em>

Rachel watched her daughter, standing over the grave of her father staring at the picture of him intently. She couldn't really remember him anymore, but Rachel made sure to tell her about him everyday. Rachel knew someday Faith would completely forget what he was like and ask about him even more then she did now, and Rachel would be prepared to answer any questions she had answering first with "you're your father's daughter" knowing in her heart it was true._  
><em> 

_i reached for you this morning  
>woke up with empty arms <em>_  
><em> 

__  
>There you go. I know it was depressing, but I did warn you. Thanks for reading, and please review :)<p> 


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